I feel like we are losing the battle by insisting on marriage. Why aren’t we focusing on a nationwide alternative that gives us the same benefits as married couples but with a different name?

I would imagine that the majority of gay people are not religious, even if they do believe in a God. That has been my own personal experience, at least. My friends and I have a hard time getting behind a book that supposedly condemns our God-given lifestyle.

Why don’t we just call it domestic partnerships? Or, since that isn’t a sexy name and the gays have always been known as trendsetters, let’s give it some cool name that will make all of the married people jealous of the fact that they don’t have as cool of a name.

Here are just a few of the things I want to have with my own life partner that my straight counterparts already get to take for granted with their spouses:

• The ability to be taxed as a couple if it’s more beneficial to our financial situation
• To be able to provide each other with the workplace benefits we receive for ourselves
• To be able to quickly and easily adopt the other’s last name if we so choose (whereas now we have to go through a drawn out legal proceeding to change our name)
• Know that we can visit each other in the hospital – even outside of visiting hours – without having to identify ourselves as the other’s brother
• To know that when one of us kicks the bucket, the other gets our property without hassle
• To have the right of making end-of-life decisions for the other without having to produce a bunch of paperwork
• To have the legal framework that deals with custody issues in a systematic way should we ever part ways

My list is actually much longer, but the above points are my personal priorities.

The battle over gay marriage seems to be never ending. The religious right is hanging us over the word “marriage.” Why not let them have it? Since most marriages fail, wouldn’t it be best to start fresh with a new name anyway?

We have proven that we can get domestic partnerships through in a lot of states. Many companies and even some government agencies have gotten on board with domestic partner benefits but it should be mandatory for these companies and agencies to extend the same benefits to domestic partners as they already do spouses. Why don’t we fight the battle with what has proven – on a limited basis – to already work?

My own theory is that we are fighting so hard for gay marriage that the religious fanatics may very well compromise with us and give us something almost identical to marriage, but without the name, just to get us to shut up and go away already. I am OK with that so long as we get what we want, even if it doesn’t include the word “marriage.”

I learned early in life to take the path of least resistance. Why are we not applying that logic to the gay marriage battle?

Tags: Domestic Partners, Editorial, Gay Marriage